When life gives you lemons... or charges for them

I visited my home town of Tucson, AZ, this weekend. My sister and her clan came down to visit, and we all went out for breakfast at The Egg Connection. It turns out that this is one of my brother-in-law's favorite breakfast spot.

It used to be one of mine as well. For years, before I left, it was this ratty hole-in-the-wall that had old wooden tables that looked lucky to still be up. The food was good and hot, the service was quick, and the prices were nothing. Then, after they became popular, they moved a few streets down and got airs. They shifted to folding tables, reduced their service staff, changed their menu, and raised their prices.

I stopped going. It was just like any other breakfast place. It just wasn't the same.

So, I was interested in seeing what the place was like. It's in the same location as it had moved to and had the same sign. I figured that's a good thing as they apparently hadn't had to make any additional style concessions. And, they were crowded as well, which always bodes well.

So, while we're standing outside waiting for our table to be ready, I catch sight of a 5x7 index card next to the door, saying, "We charge for lemon slices to go along with your water, because 'we don't get lemons for free'".

Wow. Charging for lemon slices? I've never heard of that. I've never been to a place that charges for a slice of lemon. Oh, I've been to places that didn't have free refills on coffee, but I couldn't get over this. Did they charge for the little jelly packets? Or maybe for condiments?

My family all had a good chuckle and eventually got seated. The first thing I noticed was that most of the wait staff probably hadn't been born the last time I had been there. Nice.

I was happy to see that most of the menu items I had missed and stopped going there for were actually back! They had the massively large sausages that I loved (and should no longer eat), and their prices were still rock bottom. I felt at home again.

I went through the menu, and, on the back, there it was. "Slice of Lemon: $0.50."

Fifty cents? My God! I swiftly glanced around the table. "Whew!" I thought. Plenty of salt, pepper and jelly packets. I guess we're getting a free ride on those.

I wondered if they would charge a cutting fee if I brought in my own lemon. But, why stop there? Could I make any money setting up shop selling lemon slices in the parking lot? I could easily undercut them and sell slices for a quarter each.

But, just as the excitement of a new business opportunity was peaking, my mother informed me that The Egg Connection was already on top of it. She pointed to a sign saying, "No Outside Food or Drink Allowed."

Drat.